This is the tenth of an ongoing series of assignments that I had for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. This was a very meaningful project for me, as I too was adopted, but I had found a forever family when I was only months old. Many of the children I documented in this series were not so fortunate, spending years in a system that passed them from one home to another until DTFA stepped in and helped them find a stable home life and loving forever family.
Maci Kean came through the The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, and with over 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system, organizations like the Foundation can play a crucial role in placing kids, especially considering 20,000 children in foster care will never be adopted. Older children and those with special needs often face difficulty finding adoptive homes. A recent survey taken by The Foundation revealed that 80 percent of Americans considering adoption would look at kids foster care.
Maci lost her father when she was two, and her mother at 11, both to addiction. Growing up, her life was anything but stable. Continuous drug use and domestic violence marred her life for years. A high fever took her hearing as a toddler, leaving her deaf. School was an additional source of stress for Maci, where she was constantly bullied. She missed days of school at a time, as her mother was rarely awake to put her on the bus—much less feed her breakfast or get her dressed. Placed in the temporary custody of her aunt while her mother served a jail sentence for drug-related charges, Maci’s life began to unravel. Life with her aunt lacked the love she had known from her mother, and she quickly began acting out as a result. After Maci’s mother completed her sentence, she went into a half-way home where she died of a drug overdose. Suddenly, Maci’s temporary placement with her aunt became long term, and the grief over the loss of her mother created a downward spiral—and compensating negative behaviors—that her aunt was not willing to work through.
When Maci was 15, her aunt released her into the foster system, a move that only increased her feelings of isolation. She was placed in a strict group home that provided the basics for life: food, shelter, and medical care. According to her adoptive mother Gigi, what it didn’t have was more important. “Even though she had safety and medical care, she didn’t have love. If these children don’t learn to function in a family with love, they will be forever impacted,” she told Reader’s Digest. Maci’s adoptive father, Chris, adds, “It was a top-notch group home, but group homes are made to address the needs of all the children—not as individuals. At an emotional level, they cannot meet the bonding needs of each child.” There are many things adoptive parents wish others knew, because the process of adoption is so complex.
A junior in high school, Maci was quickly nearing what is called “aging out” of the system; when children turn 18, they are no longer considered to be adoptable by the state. Maci had already given up hope of being adopted, and redid her paperwork to reflect her dashed hope: Maci changed her permanency plan to include only foster care, not adoption.
Maci didn’t know it at the time, but her future mother was already in her life on a daily basis. Gigi Kean worked at Maci’s high school office. “We all knew her story,” she says. “I never saw her as a pity case—I always saw her as this fiery, bright, and intelligent girl. I was ignorant about foster children, I never even considered that she might want parents, or to be adopted. I admired her strength, and talked to her whenever I could.”
It was only when Maci showed Gigi her Forever Family video—she made the video with the help of the Dave Thomas Foundation to assist her in being placed—that Gigi understood the depth of Maci’s yearning for a real family. “She told me, “I just need to be realistic, no one wants to adopt me. Who would want me?,” Gigi recalls. It was then that the wheels in Gigi’s mind began to turn, and adopting Maci was all she could think about. After speaking to her husband Chris, the plan to adopt Maci was officially set in motion, and it was only a matter of time before they became a family of five. The Keans’ two biological children, Carolyn and Christopher, were completely on board with gaining a new sister.
Initially, Maci was hesitant to trust that her dream of having a family would come true, but on June 8th, only six weeks before turning 18, she officially took the last name Kean, and was adopted. Maci’s new mother is quick to point out that adopting a child at any age is important. ” A child’s need for love, acceptance, and the knowledge they will never be given up is the same at 7 or 17,” she explains. “Age or special needs should never be a deterrent, people just need to understand that these children come with trauma, and love is the most healing thing you can offer,” she says.
A video of her life’s story can be found on YouTube here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6mU9hQbC1E
Considering adoption? Please check out this guide
Also, please prayerfully consider your financial support of this great organization.
