This is the fifth of a series of assignments that I had for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. This was a very meaningful project for me, as I too was adopted, but I had found a forever family when I was only months old.  Many of the children I documented in this series were not so fortunate, spending years in a system that passed them from one home to another until DTFA stepped in and helped them find a stable home life and loving forever family.

Soon after Robb and Marc met Tyler, then nine, he cut right to the chase. “When are you going to adopt me?” he asked as they drove to a coffee shop.

The question caught Marc off guard. “I’m not usually at a loss for words,” says Marc, “but it took me a minute to figure out what to say. I ended up telling him that we’d need to see how it went and make sure it was a good fit.” “I think it’s a good fit,” Tyler answered immediately. After two weeks, Marc and Robb knew Tyler was right. He moved in with them soon after. “It was very meant to be,” Robb says.

“Tyler is so polite, so kind. He takes our next door neighbor’s trash cans in for her. He walks the elderly across the street. Seriously.” Together, the family travels, cooks, entertains and takes walks. “We’re loving, fun and outgoing,” Tyler says.

“That’s what makes this a really great family. “When strangers tell you things about your son, like ‘what a great kid,’ it just makes you so proud.”

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

Below is an except from a Readers Digest article written by Jen Babakhan about Tyler’s family:

In 2009, Marc and Robb were living a life that many dream of, filled with successful professional careers and frequent travel, but they both agreed that something was still missing. Having a child had always been important to the couple, and it felt as though the time to pursue an addition to their family had arrived. Robb tells Reader’s Digest, “We’ve always known someone was missing at the table, and we’ve always wanted a family. We’ve always wanted someone to teach to tie their shoes, someone to visit colleges with.”

Once the decision had been made to begin the adoption process, Marc and Rob completed a “Family Available” sheet, a document that uses photographs and personal information to introduce a child to prospective parents. “It’s an opportunity to give a child the chance to feel like they get to choose you, instead of you choosing them,” Robb explains. Originally looking for a child from infant age to seven, the couple scanned several thick binders full of profiles of waiting children. Robb recalls, “There were these huge binders—just full of children, all waiting for families.” When a social worker showed them the profile of a nine-year-old boy named Tyler, they decided to schedule a meeting with him even though he was older than their original preference. “We had previously talked to friends about it, and we just came to the conclusion that it would be crazy to say we would take him if he were six or seven, but not nine,” Robb says.

Marc and Robb met Tyler on a cold January day at an aquarium. “I had this excited and nervous feeling,” Robb says. “We wanted to love this child, and we wanted him to love us, too,” he adds. The initial meeting proved to be exactly what Tyler and the couple had hoped for—they all felt as though they were meant to be a family. On the way back to his foster mother’s home, Tyler softly asked from the backseat as Robb drove, “So when are you going to adopt me?” This was a question Robb hadn’t been prepared for, but a perfect way to confirm what they had all been feeling. “I pulled over and told him that we needed to make sure that it was a good fit for him, and for us—and he responded with ‘I think it’s a good fit.’ That’s when I just knew.”

Tyler was placed in foster care due to parental neglect at the age of six, and had experienced three separate foster homes in the three years prior to meeting Marc and Robb. “We think of each situation he’s been through as a tool to help him navigate his adult life. His past does not define him,” explains Marc. On December 10, 2009, Marc and Robb officially became the parents of Tyler, an event that felt a lifetime in the making.” He’s been a part of our family his entire life, it just took him a little while to get to us,” Robb says.

Today, Tyler is a 17-year-old senior in high school who works summers at the local zoo and plays the piano. He’s touring colleges with his parents and excited for the future—a future that now looks brighter than ever. “Everyone that knows Tyler loves him. He’s such a wonderful human being. We would do what we did a million times over to get Tyler,” Robb says. Marc and Robb are motivated to share their story of adopting Tyler to help others understand that adopting an older child can be wonderful, and full of some of the same things you would expect to experience with a younger child. “These kids are not in foster care because they had great parents,” Robb says. “You’ll have the firsts with older kids that you would have had with younger ones—we taught Tyler to ride his bike, brush his teeth—all of those things,” he adds. Robb and Marc were once told by a family friend to not forget about older children as an option for their family. “He said, remember that they come back home during college—they’ll come back to you for the rest of their lives,” Robb recalls. “You don’t parent a child only until they’re 18. You adopt a child for a lifetime,” Marc says. Adopting from foster care is free in many states, but the cost of adoption in other scenarios is often higher than you might expect.

Marc and Robb are both passionate about the joy that adoption, and specifically adoption of an older child, has brought to their lives. “I feel as bonded to Tyler just as much as if he were my biological child,” Marc says. “I would sacrifice myself for him in an instant, without a second thought,” he adds. The couple want others to know that parenting an adopted child is no different than parenting a biological one. “Every child has issues—biological or not—but that’s just part of being a parent,” Marc explains. “Every child is entitled to a childhood. I just want people to know that they shouldn’t make assumptions. Children in the foster system deserve a chance to be considered,” Robb adds.

Considering adoption?  Please check out this guide

Also, please prayerfully consider your financial support of this great organization.

This is the fourth in a series of assignments that I had for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. This was a very meaningful project for me, as I too was adopted, but I had found a forever family when I was only months old.  Many of the children I documented in this series were not so fortunate, spending years in a system that passed them from one home to another until DTFA stepped in and helped them find a stable home life and loving forever family.

Laverne Moore-Jenkins and her husband Terry have been fostering children for almost 30 years — in addition to raising nine of their own. They’ve always enjoyed working with teens especially, to help them get the skills they need to transition out of the foster care system as well as provide them a place to come back to.

When Raychelle was placed in their home, Laverne didn’t want to let her go. “Had Raychelle aged out of foster care, her only option was to go to a group home,” Laverne says. “I knew that wasn’t a good place for her, and I wanted to make this her home.” By the time Raychelle joined the Jenkins family at the age of 15, she’d lived in about 26 homes. “She’d lost a lot in all those transitions,” Laverne adds. “She’s deaf and developmentally delayed. When we first met her, she only knew about 10 words of American Sign Language.”

She was in good company: Laverne and Terry didn’t know ASL either. Working together, they learned. Now they sign to each other, and Raychelle knows hundreds of words. And communication isn’t the only improvement Raychelle has made. Laverne describes Raychelle as shy and withdrawn at first. After a time, she came out of her shell. “She’s my social butterfly,” Laverne laughs. “Always giving everyone hugs and compliments I have to translate. She’s truly happy now.”

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

(© James D. DeCamp | http://www.JamesDeCamp.com | 614-367-6366)

Below is an except from a Readers Digest article written by Jen Babakhan about the Jenkins family:

Terry and Laverne Jenkins met in the armed forces and knew they were meant to be together and join their families. At the time, Terry had two sons, and Laverne had one. Over the years they adopted two nieces due to a family tragedy, and went on to have a biological son and daughter together. They decided to become foster parents out of a desire to help other families succeed, and for the last 30 years they have done just that.

Raychelle was 15 when she first met the Jenkins. Scheduled to stay with the Jenkins for a short 72 hours, Laverne says Raychelle was placed in her home with only a black trash bag containing her belongings—which were severely lacking. “She came with clothing appropriate for an older man—not for a teenage girl. It looked as though someone’s grandfather had passed, and she was given his clothing. She had no toothbrush or pajamas—none of those things,” Laverne recalls.

It was apparent that Raychelle, born deaf, had been extremely neglected in her previous foster environments. “She hadn’t bathed in weeks, and the stench was awful. Her hair hadn’t been washed or braided, and she had bald spots from the lack of grooming. I couldn’t believe it,” Laverne told Reader’s Digest. Raychelle entered the foster care system due to neglect from her biological mother right before her sixth birthday, and had bounced from home to home throughout the years—some of which were abusive. “When Raychelle came to us she was extremely withdrawn and afraid of people. She would put her hands up because she was afraid of being hit, and her ability to communicate with others was almost nonexistent,” Laverne explains.

When a social worker told Laverne and Terry that after her weekend stay with them Raychelle would be placed in a group home, Laverne knew she had to take action. “I called the social worker I knew with Wendy’s Wonderful Kids and told her I wanted to petition for adoption immediately—there was no way a group home would be prepared to take care of Raychelle in the way she needed.” Once Raychelle was placed with the Jenkins, others began noticing changes in the teen as well. “The school social worker told me, ‘We knew she had to be in a new home, because she came to school clean,” Laverne recalls. “I told her, ‘You don’t have to worry about her anymore, she’s in the right home now,” she adds.

Laverne says that adopting Raychelle, who functions at a first grade level due to brain trauma she sustained during abuse, has been a motivation for growth in her own life. She says, “Adopting her was something that God put on my heart, and looking in her eyes I knew I was meant to be her forever mom. She’s made me a better person. I’m more empathetic and sympathetic to others. People think I’ve done great things for her, but she’s done them for me, too.”

Today, Raychelle is 20, and about to graduate high school. She only knew five American Sign Language words when arriving at the Jenkins home, and she now communicates well with over 400. Learn some fascinating facts about American Sign Language. Laverne says her daughter amazes her, and she’s learning sign language to communicate even better with Raychelle. “She’s learning to read and write, and she could barely write her name when we met. I believe she can go so much further,” she explains. Previously withdrawn and fearful, Laverne says Raychelle has grown to love others. She says, “Raychelle has more of a social life than I do, she goes to dances and recreation programs. I want her to be comfortable wherever she is, whether that’s with hearing people or non-hearing people. I want her to know her world is broad.”

Laverne wants others considering adoption of older children or those with special needs to know that any child in foster care has special needs. She explains,”Foster care children all have a special need for something. If you’re considering adoption or foster care, you should pray about it—we all have a mission in life, and if this is yours, then a higher power will provide for you.” She also encourages other adoptive parents to educate themselves about advocating for their child. “Go to the doctor and tell them what you think your child needs, get familiar with the IEP (individual education program) process, and advocate for them. If you don’t, no one else will. They can’t advocate for themselves,” she says.

Considering adoption?  Please check out this guide

Also, please prayerfully consider your financial support of this great organization.